TURBOTAX IS THE JEWISH MOTHER I NEVER HAD.

I’ve said this before–but doing your taxes is the worst if you’re a single, almost-thirty, lady living in New York. I mean, not only are the taxes outrageous–but I never get a refund AND I have to answer NO to the following questions.

TurboTax (TT): Did you get married this year?
Me: No.
TT: Did you have a baby?
Me: No.
TT: Did you buy a house?
Me: No.
TT: Did you buy a car?
Me: No.
TT: Did you further your education?
Me: No.
TT: Did you change careers?
Me: No.
TT: Did you make any financial investments.
Me: No.

See what I mean about TurboTax being the Jewish Mother you never had? It practically wags its finger at you! With each click of NEXT, I shrink further and further into a ball until I’m practically doing my taxes from under my desk!

I always finish my taxes yelling at TurboTax–OKAY, OKAY! I GET IT. MY LIFE EXACTLY THE SAME THE AS IT WAS LAST YEAR AND THE YEAR BEFORE! MY LIFE HAS NO DIRECTION! I’M GOING NOWHERE! I’M DESTINED TO BE ALONE FOREVER! I always half expect the last page to ask HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT ONLINE DATING?!

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